Lorde looks back on past body image issues: “I felt like every bite of food I had was stolen”
Lorde has opened up about her past body image issues, and how she is embracing herself in this new era.
During a new interview with Document Journal, the Kiwi pop star spoke about returning with her first single in four years, ‘What Was That’. The track is the first taste of her fourth album ‘Virgin’, which is due for release on June 27.
- READ MORE: Lorde’s ‘What Was That’ takes us back to the dancefloor for another emotional, electric journey
Lorde reflected on her feelings and experiences while making her previous record, 2021’s ‘Solar Power’. Recalling that summer, the singer told the outlet: “There was this feeling of, ‘Okay, we’re back out here, and everything’s totally fine!’ – and it was just so not the case.
“It was all still really in process, and there would be these layers of grief that would come through, and there was such a collective anger, and so much trauma coming to the surface.”
Remembering the relationship she had with her appearance at this time, Lorde added: “Then on top of that, I had made my body very small, because I thought that that was what you did as a woman and a woman on display. I thought, ‘I’m small. This will communicate to people that I’m taking my position seriously’. It had the effect of making me [feel] totally ungrounded.”
She continued: “I was very weak. I look back now, and I don’t have that same feeling of floating away. I eat as much as I want and need now. I wasn’t very embodied. I often would think about not eating very much as I felt like every bite of food I had was stolen. I was like, ‘Hang on, this has gotten weird’.”
Explaining her newfound positivity regarding her body, and how she has now overcome these issues, Lorde said: “It was like, ‘I’m not going to put anything out until I’m in my body the way I know I’m supposed to be, to be able to do my work’.
“That’s all I did the last four years, basically. This album is a byproduct of that process of fully coming into my body and feeling the fullness of my power. It’s cool to be back in that place of, like, the portal opening and the weight.”
She went on: “I’m myself. All these parts of me are represented in a bunch of different ways. I’m not hiding from myself. I’m not stealing from myself […] But to be out on stage at Coachella, I had this feeling of like, you know, your first day of middle school, [when] you’re like, ‘This is a sick outfit, I love my outfit so much’.”
Lorde told the interviewer that she “just felt so like myself” when performing the ‘Girl, So Confusing’ remix with Charli XCX at the festival last month.
In 2021, Lorde discussed the topic of body image and the media scrutiny that pop stars face. “I didn’t want people to be talking about what my body looked like. I was a kid,” she remembered of her earlier years in the spotlight. “And I really wasn’t ‘in’ my body. As a teenager, you kind of wear your body like an outfit that doesn’t fit yet.”
She added: “How my body looks is not a big centre of curiosity now. Which I think is in part because of the grounding I lay as a teenager. So yeah – I feel good about baby me doing that for future me.”
Speaking to NME in 2017, Lorde reflected on the aftermath of her 2013 debut single ‘Royals’: “It rocked my foundations and could have fucked me, you know? I remember being made aware of my looks and my body in a way that I had never been.
“I remember all these kids online, I think I beat their favourite people to Number One, and they were like, ‘Fuck her, she’s got really far-apart eyes.’ I remember being like, ‘Whoa! How did I get all this way without knowing I had far-apart eyes?’ Just weird shit like that. But I was able to return to my family and shelter against that and get to where I am now. I feel so comfortable in myself.”
Lorde’s fourth album ‘Virgin’ was co-produced by the singer alongside Jim-E Stack. Fabiana Palladino, Andrew Aged, Buddy Ross, Dan Nigro and Blood Orange’s Devonté Hynes were also involved.
As for the inspiration behind the project, Lorde said: “The colour of the album is clear. Like bathwater, windows, ice, spit. Full transparency. The language is plain and unsentimental. The sounds are the same wherever possible. I was trying to see myself, all the way through.
“I was trying to make a document that reflected my femininity: raw, primal, innocent, elegant, openhearted, spiritual, masc. I’m proud and scared of this album. There’s nowhere to hide. I believe that putting the deepest parts of ourselves to music is what sets us free.”
She has since talked about how collaborating with Charli XCX influenced the record. Meanwhile, fans have been reacting to the intriguing cover artwork for Lorde’s upcoming album.
You can reach out for help and advice around eating disorders on the Beat website.
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